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[ Two homes, Two Longings ]
26 August 2023

Back to Korea for a holiday. It’s been 2 years. It's my third visit since I started to live in the Netherlands. It’s been 4 years since my hometown was divided into two countries. Like a lot of people here do, I have rooms in the Netherlands and Korea.

Elders in the church asked me if I returned to Korea permanently. I said nothing is fixed right now. I said nothing is set in stone. I don’t know where I will be around this time next year. I don’t have an address of my office in my name card. I have two phone numbers on it, but only one of them works depending on where I am.

When I boarded the plane from the Netherlands to Korea, I was very excited but very sad at the same time. I hadn't even arrived and I was counting down the date already. What a vain habit it is to think about parting before meeting. Having two hometowns means twice the longing. When I'm in the Netherlands, I want to go to Korea so much, and when I'm in Korea, I want to see my friends in Europe. Living in more than one place sounds cool, but that's only when I can manage the airfare without any problem.

It would be great to cut out the Korean peninsula (probably just the southern part) and move it somewhere on the European continent. In between Italy and France, right below Monaco would be good. The left side of Greece looks fine either. Someday in my life, I will return to Korea. The best thing would be to travel back and forth between Korea and Europe and maintain a similar balance of staying. Anyway, we don’t know the future. It is even hard to predict what will happen tomorrow. During the month and a half I spend in Korea, I will recharge my strength to stay in the Netherlands again. Longing is always in full charge though.